With the long-awaited arrival of Junkyard Golf at Liverpool One and its grand media launch this week there's been a lot of talk about Liverpool's newest adult-only crazy golf course.
However, with the markedly similar Ghetto Golf already well-established and thriving up in the Baltic Triangle district, it has to beg the question- which one is better? In this highly scientific essay I will....
However, with the markedly similar Ghetto Golf already well-established and thriving up in the Baltic Triangle district, it has to beg the question- which one is better? In this highly scientific essay I will....
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| Sweet Shop Cocktails at Junkyard Golf |
The course at Ghetto Golf comprises 18 rounds of outlandish, prop-heavy holes including a pirate ship, a bowling alley and one where the aim of the game is to get your ball through a labyrinth of pretty large sex toys...now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write on the internet. It's all based inside the former Cains Brewery so it's a huge space dominated by walls of graffiti, towers, pipes and empty brewing containers.
Junkyard is similar in its gritty, urban design but has 3 shorter 9-hole courses to choose from including Gary (an abandoned car lot meets scrapyard challenge), Bozo (a creepy fairground/carnival type affair) and Pablo (self described as 'polluted tropical madness'). Highlights from the holes at Junkyard include a carousel, hollowed out cars and an adult-friendly slide. If you ever had the misfortune of visiting Jungle Rumble (where Junkyard now stands) I can gladly inform you it's a pretty impressive transformation.
Both venues are nearly always 18+, are loud AF and have cool neon strobe rooms that are excellent for a photo opp but make you feel a bit like you’re having a seizure. If you can abide the cringe-worthy marketing slogans on the walls at Junkyard (like do you even golf, bro?) then its 50/50 on the venue front.
Scores 1-1
Food
There’s no doubting that Ghetto Golf is the winner when it comes down to food. There's a full menu served until late provided by BBQ aficionados Apocalypse Cow. Post-golf you can gorge yourself on burgers, loaded fries and ‘twisted tapas’ which, despite the daft name, includes amazing little bits like deep-fried lasagne bites and brisket nuggets. Junkyard have a significantly smaller offering of hotdogs, nachos, popcorn and a shit-tonne of pick 'n' mix so unless you’re desperate for food after all that sliding about, I’d go elsewhere.
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| Spirit of Bumper alive at Ghetto Golf |
Scores 2-1
Drinks
Both Junkyard and Ghetto Golf have fully-licenced bars with cleverly named cocktails at the forefront. Highlights from GG include Barbie Tings, Post Water-Malone and The Fluffer whilst over at Junkyard you can go for a Drank U, Next, Ribena Turner or Got Gum, Hun? Unsurprisingly I enjoyed working my way through the cocktail list at both venues but if you're after a drink that'll taste good and look good on your Insta then Junkyard wins this round.
Scores 2-2
The Verdict
As ever my conclusion will be annoyingly diplomatic and say they’re both decent and worth a visit. With shorter courses and a pretty convenient location Junkyard may be better for a quick stop off but Ghetto Golf is definitely more of a destination night out.
What do you reckon?